Okay let’s be frank, it feels like these days for some of us folk who are avid music scouts, that almost every song you discover is a hidden gem, creeps up to you on Tik Tok 6 months later.
I have genuine examples of music where I’ve discovered a song, loved it, added it to my playlist only for it to come up on my Tik Tok for you page. Where do I begin, Dirty Harry by Gorillaz, Like a Tattoo by Sade, Angel & Teardrop by Massive Attack. Music IS everywhere. It’s not like I can be entirely mad about it either, they are very good pieces of music.
Okay look, Im not trying to be one of those idiots where I’m like “I knew it when it was niche! I was niche first!” No. There’s something specifically about that breed of person that makes me want to vomit. Im not sure if it’s the cringey aspect or the level of oblivion they seem to nurture. I once had a chef I worked with who turned to me one day while playing music in the kitchen and said to me (VERBATIM); “do you know like, Master of Puppets by Metallica?” to which I replied “yes of course I know that song” – ( not only am I not an idiot but at this time it was the peak hype of Stranger Things S4, which had a pretty popular montage featuring the Metallica song). To which they looked at me puzzled, like they were somehow shocked that an 18 year old girl (at the time) knew a Metallica song….
Like erm…. I hate to break it to you but I’m sure 80% of the population knew the song at that point. It has been circulating online for close to a month at that point. You couldn’t go online without hearing the song.
The other chef proceeds to question my musical knowledge on the song by going ahead and saying “oh no but do you know how the song goes?” “Sing me the first verse” LIKE ??? Why are you as a 20(something) year old picking on my knowledge of a fucking Metallica song? Like genuinely WHO CARES. (Was a man btw)
On a similar note, is I don’t understand the need to pass your own music taste off as original. We are in the digital age where one click can bring you to a world of opportunities. That includes avenues to new music. Someone claiming their taste is “entirely original” or “niche” is lying to your face. There are probably 20 other people in a 15km radius that like the same songs as you. However, if you’re in Newtown you only need a 500m radius.
One thing I cannot STAND seeing online is the Geese, Turnstile and Fontaines D.C. “is niche” train. I’m sure if you asked any gen. z’er or millennial if they know of any of the above I will bet every goddamn cent to my name that at least 95% will say they have. Along with the fact that a small percentage of their listeners think they’re “different” or “misunderstood” because they listen to alt. rock, and it makes them “deep”. As well, it’s this small part of the population posted heinous shit online about their “#fitcheck” and its a pair of musty jeans that probably haven’t been washed in over a week, some band tee from a tour or unlicensed merch tee, and a dirty ass pair of Birkenstocks + socks. So they’re all full of shit essentially is what i’m trying to say.
Mind you the photo, I had typed out the paragraph before I even went onto social media to get the example. It all speaks for itself. I rest my case.
I reckon I could get traction by doing those “Deepest thought provoking music listeners” contest and we’d get a park full of those people, and they’ll all rock up with a Geese, Turnstile, or Fontaines D.C vinyl – still wrapped and sealed because they’re performative. And they have to wear their wired headphones to properly enjoy their deep thought provoking alt. rock.
I also want to preface this by saying that I too, like Fontaines D.C., (I can’t say that I have gotten into Geese or Turnstile) I think skinty fia and Romance are great albums, but this one sliver of our population has genuinely been my kryptonite for the longest time. Why do you feel the need to make Bug & Starburster your whole personality. It is not, you are a person and you are allowed to like other music. Grian Chatten is not holding your music taste hostage babe. And get that shit off the internet I think when women see that shit, everything goes dryer than a natures valley bar, and I wish I was kidding.
That’s all thanks xx
19.7.26
elo’s blog 
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